The Funniest Reactions To The Three Heroic Baboons Who Escaped A Sydney Hospital
"Take away Bettina Arndt’s medal and give it to the baboons"
Around 5.30pm Tuesday, three baboons escaped a vehicle as they were being transported around Sydney’s Royal Prince Alfred Hospital — for an hour, they paraded through the hospital’s streets before being contained.
The news first broke via 2GB, with several callers mentioning they just saw loose baboons. One said there were ‘three’ baboons in the RPA car-park — “even with red bottoms” — which was soon confirmed by NSW Police.
By 6.30pm, the three baboons had been contained — aka they were surrounded in a carpark, with Taronga Zoo specialists there to sedate and calm them.
If a bloke tells you there’s baboons outside and another bloke says there aren’t it’s your job to stick your bloody head out the window and have your face ripped off
— dan nolan (@dannolan) February 25, 2020
The baboons in question were a 15-year-old male and two younger females: Sydney Morning Herald reports the male was on way to a vasectomy procedure, with the two females accompanying to keep him calm.
While there are baboons housed at a research facility at the RPA, where they are used for studies and experiments, a controversial practice which has been criticised by Humane Research Australia and other animal rights groups, these three baboons are from a research colony in Wallacia.
There, they breed for research programs — the vasectomy was ordered so the male could retire from breeding, and live in the colony.
The reaction online was immediate, and very, very funny. At first, there was general confusion, with pretty much no context given for how the baboons were at the RPA.
ah yes, the hospital's baboons have escaped. that answers more questions than it raises for sure https://t.co/QvbDmNg6LC
— Victoria Quested (@VictoriaQuested) February 25, 2020
Bad news: There are baboons roaming outside of the hospital.
Good news: If you get bitten by a baboon there is a hospital close by. https://t.co/xsGbx0iwSK
— Crocodile XD (@gapingmaws) February 25, 2020
horrifying corollary of this baboon escape is the idea that cities contain drastically more baboons than previously thought
— Tiger Webb (@tfswebb) February 25, 2020
w….
why…. were baboons in the RPA hospital? https://t.co/AtLQP88AYg— Helen Davidson (@heldavidson) February 25, 2020
Left the garage door open before I went to work. Got home and did a head count. Think I might be missing 3 out of 17 of my baboons? Hard to say.
— Wow! That’s so metaphorical. (@packetofchips) February 25, 2020
Basically, I took several baboons to the hospital because I thought they were just very ill people and yes, I do regret that mistake
— James Colley (@JamColley) February 25, 2020
Oh my PhD work is mostly teaching baboons to feel anger, pick locks, wield knives and seek revenge. Why do you ask?
— James Colley (@JamColley) February 25, 2020
[my friend, having succeeded in convincing me to leave my house for the first time in 13 years where I recovered from my baboon phobia]
“Its just Missenden Road, buddy. Highly unlikely anything related to your phobia will happen to you there.”
— Rick Morton (@SquigglyRick) February 25, 2020
In time, the baboons were venerated as anti-cop heroes, freedom fighters and queer icons just wanting to get a good spot at the Mardi Gras parade.
police have announced the baboon situation is resolved and have abruptly left the scene in a police van, driving somewhat erratically… wait, i’m hearing reports that nine naked police officer have just been found bound and gagged in a closet
— the irishman* (@mrgracemugabe) February 25, 2020
The baboons are simply trying to make it to Mardi Gras. Let them.
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) February 25, 2020
The baboons must unionise while they are out
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) February 25, 2020
if only the baboons had made it to newtown station and onto an express train to freedom :(
— casey briggs (@CaseyBriggs) February 25, 2020
Greens MP Mehreen Faruqi offered a short, concise official statement: “Greens Spokesperson for Animal Welfare has welcomed the Sydney Baboon’s bid for freedom. ‘I wish them well,’ she said.”
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Greens Spokesperson for Animal Welfare has welcomed the Sydney Baboon's bid for freedom.
"I wish them well," she said.
ENDS. https://t.co/dDnu0LrB21
— Mehreen Faruqi (@MehreenFaruqi) February 25, 2020
Given the whole saga was reminiscent of when two water buffalo got loose from a film set in Newtown back in 2014, many noted there’s a certain Sydney-quality to this mad-libs story. It’s not necessarily a good thing.
How is Sydney the type of city where there can be sniffer dogs at train stations but also several baboons on the loose
— Several Baboons (@RudiEdsall) February 25, 2020
classic sydney, acting like you've never had a baboon on the loose before
— Dan Condon (@doncandon) February 25, 2020
damn that was fast! someone has already made an "escaped baboons (Sydney)" novelty twitter account, used it to exhaustively litigate their personal grievances after someone said it wasn't funny, been outed as a serial pervert, and "killdozered" (?) themselves
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) February 25, 2020
Congrats to all those who had ‘monkeys escape from medical research lab’ on their list of weird apocalyptic shit to happen in Australia in 2020 #baboons
— Michael Mazengarb (@MichaelM_ACT) February 25, 2020
There were also a thousand jokes about the escaped baboons being from Parliament House or whatever.
Baboons on the loose in Sydney. How is this news? I see them every time I drive the M5. #SydneyBaboons
— maxwithaxe (@maxwithaxe) February 25, 2020
Overall, we can all agree that Bettina Arndt’s OA must be given to the baboons, and animal testing is almost definitely fucked. It’s possible someone on the scene agrees — while it’s now removed from their story, SMH previously quoted a source at the hospital who said “the baboons could not have escaped unaided.” Workers of the world unite!
Find more reactions below.
‘Baboons are far left terrorists.’
– Peter Dutton probably
— David Lo Pun-ch Nazis (@helpmeskeletor) February 25, 2020
Take away Bettina Arndt’s medal and give it to the baboons
— Your Friend Ben Pobjie (@HartWexford) February 25, 2020
that’s doctor baboon to you
— yeah, good. okay. (@jennineak) February 25, 2020
Important disclaimer on the Tele’s baboon yarn https://t.co/FjhFnyXTbC pic.twitter.com/Oa9HO9c5ix
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) February 25, 2020
NSW Police say THREE baboons escaped and they're currently contained.
"There is no immediate danger to the public, but people are advised to avoid the area."
— casey briggs (@CaseyBriggs) February 25, 2020
You all joke but I was literally trained in how to deal with baboons a mere month ago for my Africa work trip. Here's what your do when encountering a baboon: you run before it rips your limb out of its socket. You're welcome.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) February 25, 2020
Baboon currently in a Newtown sharehouse ripping a bong and complaining about the mould the landlord has just painted over
— Alex Lee (@alex_c_lee) February 25, 2020
just found out about the baboons. i think my brain is going to melt
— Naaman Zhou (@naamanzhou) February 25, 2020
putting my earbuds in and closing my eyes for a moment as phil collins in the air tonight starts playing. i take a deep breath, open my eyes, and calmly sight drown my rifle scope at the first escaped baboon
— the irishman* (@mrgracemugabe) February 25, 2020
I cannot stress enough how much of a Code Red situation this is for me. This is my moon landing https://t.co/EIPhfHu9VX
— henno (@jrhennessy) February 25, 2020
30-50 feral baboons?
— Richard Norman (@duckbytheoboe) February 25, 2020
So much reporting on this is going to exclude the important voices of baboons, reflecting an ongoing trend in the media to marginalise baboons. Enough is enough.
— Osman Faruqi (@oz_f) February 25, 2020
As an expert on animal behaviour I can confirm that the ideal number of free roaming baboons is zero
— Dave Krantz (@weskrantz) February 25, 2020
uhhhhh hmmm idk ok "if you can't handle me at my sydney weather and transport complaining, you don't deserve me at my sydney baboon escape"
— raf (@prafxis) February 25, 2020
"Baboon" is an inherently funny word
— Jeffrey Simpson (@FadAstra) February 25, 2020
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Feature image byCC BY-SA 3.0.