That Bloke Who Got His Dick Out At The ARIAs Once Is Campaigning For Some Random Liberal
So that's what Axle Whitehead is doing these days!
Hands-down the best thing about the 2016 election is the rebirth of various Australian Idol personalities as political figures. Former host James Mathison is taking on former Prime Minister Tony Abbott in the seat of Warringah, and once again, Shannon Noll selflessly turned down a standing invitation from the Governor-General to have Condobolin and its surrounds declared an independent republic, over which he is President for Life.
His first act is to declare war on James Mathison’s Warringah.
Now yet another Idol alumnus is getting in on the #auspol action, albeit in a slightly less inspiring way than oldmate Mathison up there. Remember Axle Whitehead? First season Idol contestant Axle Whitehead? Former Video Hits host, 2008 Cleo Bachelor of the Year, actor and musician Axle Whitehead? Got his dick out onstage at the ARIAs and mimed wanking onto an award before giving it to the Hilltop Hoods Axle Whitehead? Any mention of which is inexplicably absent from his otherwise extremely thorough Wikipedia page?
“Put it away, ya flamin’ mongrel.”
ANYWAY, now that your memory’s been sufficiently jogged, it’s time to see what Axle’s up to now — namely, campaigning hard on behalf of a Liberal politician who looks a little bit like a baby that grew to enormous size in a secret government lab somewhere.
Hello!
Duncan McGauchie (pronounced “McGeckie” as opposed to “McGorchy”) is the Liberal candidate for the rural Victorian seat of Murray, a conservative electorate being contested by the National Party as well. Whether or not McGauchie holds the seat for the Libs will be at least partially determined by how receptive the good people of Murray are to being accosted by a man best known for unveiling his wang in situations where wang-unveiling is frowned upon at best.
Besides the questionable strategic value of openly admitting you’re a candidate so unknown no one can even say your name, precisely why McGauchie would seek a star-power endorsement from the guy universally remembered as ARIAs Dick Man is deeply unclear. Then again, here we all are talking about it, so maybe there’s some cunning behind seeking help in your political career from smooth-singing dickslingers. Come July 2, all will be…revealed (sorry not sorry).