Right about now, students all over the country are getting some sort of final mark. From university exam results to ATAR and VCE rankings, the country’s been hit with numbers-based fever – What did you get for this? How did you go with that? Tell me what you got!

Whether your grades come back disappointing, surprising, or a mix of both, they’re super personal. If you’re happy to share them with other people, good on you but if you’re not, you shouldn’t feel the least bit bad about keeping them to yourself.

Unfortunately, there’s no cut and dry way to shut down the questioning. “Didn’t go so well” will prompt pity and “I don’t want to talk about it” will encourage further prying. Here’s some things you can say instead.

#1 “Better Than Expected.”

This is the perfect vague response to any marks-related prying. It makes you look self-effacing and humble (“I didn’t think I’d do so well!”) but also in a good headspace about the whole thing (“I can enjoy my holidays without freaking out about retaking a unit!”). If your friend is completely nosey and asks the follow up “how well?” question, simply answer “well” with a straight face.

If they continue to pry, they’re officially the worst and you have our permission to walk away.

#2  “I Actually Haven’t Checked Yet!”

A little white lie is totally justified in this situation. You may be fully aware of what you got, but no one else has to know that. And hey, you could be really busy! You could have forgotten the log in to your student portal! You could be testing out a new technology-free detox! There’s so many brilliant excuses that can justify your ignorance. Use them.

#3 “I’m Happy.”

Even if you’re not happy, saying “I’m happy” is sure to shut down any further questioning. The underlying message is that you’re fine with it, so it doesn’t really matter what the actual mark is. Even if you’re not actually that stoked about it, saying it out loud might even trick your brain into believing it anyway. Win/win.

#4 Ask Them What They Got And Then Say “Same”.

People ask you your marks to see how well they did compared to you. It’s not maliciously intended by any means, it’s just a human thing that people do.

By saying you got the exact same mark as the person who’s asking, you’re not only banishing that hope within them that you did worse than them, you’re preventing them from feeling bad if you did better than them. It’s the perfect middle ground.

#5 “I Passed!”

Take advantage of the classic “Ps get degrees” mantra by simply telling people you’re in the green. Who really cares about the specifics of Cs, Ds and HDs anyway?

#6 “I’d Prefer Not To Tell People.”

Of course, taking the straight forward route always works. If the person asking you is an actual friend, they should be completely fine with your decision to keep your grades to yourself. They might lightly roast you – they’re your mates, what can you expect? – but if they actually get upset or annoyed with you, they’re bad friends.

How much we learn and how well is our own business. With the competitiveness of university, it’s way too easy to forget that. Keep your marks to yourself and keep going you quiet achiever, you.

(Lead image: Awkward/MTV)