Alicia Johnson Wants To Change The Way We Talk About Internalised Misogyny

I am a proud First Nations woman. I am a single mother. I’m fat, and I am from a low socio-economic background. And I’m proud of who I am. I have always been open and real. I tell it like it is.

I’m also a re-educator. I do this work because I want to create a path for others to walk — a path where they too can be brave and be proud of who they are. I do this in the hope that we can foster change for all women.

Last week, I took part in the Bumble Modern Womanhood Virtual panel. I was joined by 2021 Australian of the Year and activist Grace Tame, fat positivity and body acceptance advocate April Hélène-Horton, and Bumble’s APAC communications director Lucille McCart. To say we had a line-up of trailblazing women would be a complete understatement.

We dived into some pretty meaty topics, from healthy relationships to women’s safety and consent, to body confidence and how feminism and racism intersect. The conversation was real, confronting, emotional, and rewarding — for those participating and for those streaming from home.

We also talked about misogyny — a term that we’re all familiar with and, if you’re a proud woman of any background, something you likely loathe. But there’s also this other thing, internalised misogyny, which is something that can be far more insidious.

How Does Internalised Misogyny Work?

We are often presented with the narrative that when women in a role of authority are assertive, she is viewed as a bitch — and that when a man is assertive in these roles, he’s often shown respect. This is internalised misogyny — where gender influences power and respect.

Internalised misogyny is subtle and often comes to life when women subconsciously project sexist ideas onto other women and, at times, even ourselves. It sits somewhere inside all of us and it is tied to a set of preconceived notions of how a woman should exist.

It is a conditioned response to predisposed thinking. It’s thinking that has been taught to us in our childhood; thinking that, on a cognitive level, we know is not okay, but is a product of all the external influences we have been exposed to. This is where race, economic status, appearance, and even language all come into play, as these things all influence our predisposition regarding what’s “normal”.

It sits somewhere inside all of us and it is tied to a set of preconceived notions of how a woman should exist.

The Bumble Modern Womanhood Report found that 54 percent of women – compared to 50 percent of men — believe that female-dominated workplaces can be toxic. The report also found that 40 percent of women still think it is strange when women don’t shave their body hair. It’s all pretty archaic, if you ask me.

At best, internalised misogyny makes you want to shy away from speaking your mind, and at worst, it makes you question yourself and your beliefs.

So, how do unlearn this? The first step is to call it out — both in yourself and in others. We all need to challenge the values that might have been instilled in us when we were young. We are all taught the alphabet in school, but we aren’t taught the basics of self-esteem and building up other women. How do we learn to love ourselves if we’re conditioned to want to change ourselves from the very beginning?

How Do We Move Forward?

My mission is simple: let’s re-educate how our little people are taught to love themselves. Let’s teach young girls to be proud of who they are – their body size, their hair texture, their skin colour, their interests, and their passions. And shine the spotlight on those positive attributes of those other young girls around them.

We need businesses and brands, like Bumble, to put diverse women in the spotlight. To back their opinion and decisions, to see them as leaders and support them.

Let’s teach young girls to be proud of who they are – their body size, their hair texture, their skin colour, their interests, and their passions

We also need to talk about it. Call it out! Bring misogyny in all its forms into the spotlight, without fear of being called outspoken or labelled as an angry Black woman. All of these are just terms that seek to challenge us just for using our voices; gaslighting at its purest, attempting to keep us silent.

It’s also important to know that most people are coming from a well-intentioned place, and are simply rehashing the social conditioning that they’ve been taught. From their upbringing, to TV shows they watched as a kid, to the subliminal messages they’ve received from the media — it is external factors that have influenced this conditioned response. So, rather than put people on the defensive, it’s about working it out together and recognising this conditioning.

I want to encourage all women – and men — to walk into these conversations with a non-judgemental heart and admit your own shortcomings. Maybe then, with an open dialogue, we can start to reshape the dialogue of others around us.

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Alicia Johnson is a First Nations re-educator and digital content creator. She is also one half of the podcast series Unapologetically Blak. You can follow her on Instagram.