Massive goals! Heartbreaking retirements! The top eight taking shape! But first… things are not going great for Fremantle coach Ross Lyon.

A week ago the Dockers were annihilated by Sydney to the tune of 104 points, the single largest defeat of Lyon’s decade long career. Still, you could never accuse the veteran coach of lacking resolve, as he set out to do everything he possibly could to break that record against Richmond at Domain Stadium on Sunday.

The game started fairly well for the home side, with Harley Bennell slotting two goals in his first AFL game in 722 days. But things looked very different after quarter time, and by the end of the match Freo fans could be forgiven for wondering whether the entire playing group had been out of football for the past two years as well.

No wonder Collingwood were so vehement in denying that Lyon was after Nathan Buckley’s job. To be honest, I always thought that rumour was a bit far-fetched anyway. Lyon just doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to walk out on a footy club with time left on his contract.

Run Buddy Run

Friday night’s clash between Adelaide and Sydney was billed as one of the biggest of the home and away season, and boy did it live up to expectations. This match had everything: a sell-out crowd, season-high TV ratings, controversial umpiring decisions, a nail-biting finish, and one of the best goals since… well, since the last time Lance Franklin did that.

There’s been a lot of discussion over the past few days as to whether Buddy’s third quarter bomb was as good as his eerily similar effort for the Hawks back in 2010. While his goal in brown and gold might have had a greater degree of difficulty, keep in mind that the dude turned 30 this year. Players retire at 30! The fact that Franklin is still capable of doing this at his age is just flat out rude.

And yes, maybe he ran a little bit too far. But do you really want to be the umpire to disallow the goal of the year? Besides, given how much the free kick count ultimately favoured the home side*, the Swans were probably owed one anyway.

WATCH: @Buddy_Franklin can “turn back time!” #AFLCrowsSwans pic.twitter.com/kKyeL57pU1

— AFL on 7 (@7AFL) August 18, 2017

*Just kidding, obviously the umpires can do no wrong. Praise be to the umpires!

So Long Bob

Another week, another legend calling time on an incredible career. Beloved Bulldog Bob Murphy will hang up his boots at the end of the season, joining a star-studded 2017 retirement class that also includes Saints legend Nick Riewoldt, Essendon warrior Jobe Watson and, um, West Coast champ Sam Mitchell.

Throw Matt Priddis, Stevie J, Luke Hodge, Matthew Boyd and Josh Gibson into the mix, and you get the feeling that the passengers in the Grand Final motorcade would have no trouble taking it to whichever teams actually end up competing for the flag.

It’s especially poignant seeing Murphy pack it in given everything that he and the club went through last year. At least he’ll always have Luke Beveridge’s premiership medal.

“@AFL: What a moment for @BobMurphy02. #AFLGF https://t.co/jQehpdp6ys” #special #bob

— Cameron Blight (@blighty24) October 1, 2016

Oh great, now I’m crying again.

Battle For The Bottom

We’ll get to top eight in a moment, but first we might take a look at the other end of the ladder. Next week’s game between Brisbane and North Melbourne will decide who takes home the wooden spoon. For my money this is the Lions’ game to lose. Not that I think the Roos are tanking. No, I just think they’re genuinely very bad.

Incidentally, it’s been almost a year since Brad Scott let go of Brent Harvey, et al – and while it might still prove a smart decision in the long run, that probably doesn’t provide a great deal of comfort to North’s supporters right now.

Nothing like a last place finish to convince prospective superstars you’re gearing up for a premiership tilt. Now Josh Kelly and Dustin Martin just need to decide exactly how much money it takes to put up with being humiliated on a weekly basis.

So Who Exactly Can Still Fuck It Up From Here?

On paper the top eight looks pretty much set, but then that assumes the good teams beat the teams they’re supposedly better than, which as we’ve seen this season is far from a sure thing.

For example, it would be painfully like Richmond to lose to the Saints this coming Sunday, drop out of the top four and then lose to them again in an elimination final a fortnight later. Given what happened to the Tigers the last time the two sides met, I’m definitely not ruling it out.

Still, as anxious as Richmond fans are feeling, we’ve got it easy compared to Melbourne and Essendon supporters. Both the Dees and the Dons can still blow it right at the finish line – and let’s face it, neither side looked particularly convincing over the weekend.

The good news for Melbourne is that even if they lose to the Magpies, they should be safe unless West Coast can make up the percentage gap. Given that the Eagles are paired against Adelaide, that seems pretty unlikely.

Essendon, on the other hand, could potentially lose their spot in September to West Coast, St Kilda or even the Bulldogs if they drop their game on Sunday against the Dockers. Of course that’ll only happen if Ross Lyon’s team bothers to show up, which on recent form is no guarantee.

–

Read more about this year’s AFL season here.

–

Tom Clift is Junkee’s After-Hours Editor. He tweets at @tomclift.