Some people are cool as cucumbers and you never see them stressed. But some people are not. Some, like me, are not cool cucumbers. We’re not even cool bananas. We’re stressed squash and we have a problem.

This problem is that we’re still expected to live in the real world. We still need to go school, go to work, and interact with other human beings, all without letting them know that the thoughts inside our heads are going a million miles an hour.

It can all be a bit overwhelming to be honest. So, if you’re part of the stress squash club then gather round. Because here is something that might just change your life. (But also, might not.)

Making An Appointment

You know you’re officially an adult when mum stops making all your appointments for you and you actually have to pick up the phone yourself. Oh boy, it’s a lot harder than it looks.

We’re so used to texting, that calling up the dreaded dentist is just plain weird. I mean, how do you even phone call? Surely I’m not the only one who has to mentally prepare themselves for about half an hour before and review for 20 minutes after.

But now I have a new rule. It’s super simple, and can be applied to basically any situation where your brain runs away from you: “If it won’t matter in five years, don’t worry about it for more than five minutes.”

It’s perfect. It acknowledges that you’re going to worry about it a little without letting it rule your life. You can just ask yourself, “In five years will I care if I remembered to ask the dentist’s receptionist how their day was going?” Yeah, probably not.

Bills

Bills are objectively stressful. Especially if you’re a student who sometimes has to weigh up between food or electricity.

We all know that feeling of opening up a bigger than expected phone bill. It’s not exactly fun, and you can feel like putting it off for, well, forever. But then it gets bigger, and then the stress mounts up and it can honestly feel like this one phone bill is going to swallow you up and cause you to live out on the streets. You’ll have to beg strangers for money, and then put all that money towards this phone bill and eventually you’ll probably just starve to death. Or freeze. Either way, you’ll die.

Except, you won’t. If you’re prone to a freak out sometimes, it can help to question it. If it’s trying to to tell you that phone bill = death, just sit back and think, “Really brain? Is that not a ridiculous leap in logic? Surely if that were the case The Project would have done a story on it?”

The Project will not do a story on you not paying your phone bill. In fact, we bet you can move some money around to get it paid if your really have to. Or you can always ask your parents to spot you a bit of cash. Just remember: the world will not end.

Checking Out At The Supermarket When You’re Not Sure If You Have Any Money

Remember when you were younger and just when you got to the checkout your mum ducked away to grab some milk? There was genuine panic that she wouldn’t come back in time and you’d be left to pay for the groceries. It’s ridiculous but we all thought it, right?

Unfortunately, checkout doesn’t get any less scary. Except now, instead of waiting for mum to come back, we’re sweating through that moment after you’ve tapped your card and it’s processing. Will it be “approved”, or will you be doing a walk of shame to return all your groceries?

Obviously, there’s an easy fix to this: check your account beforehand. And pass those 10 seconds by thinking positive thoughts. I can’t promise it will magically boost your bank balance but if you sit there thinking “It will go through” you’ll be less stressed through the wait.

(Lead image: Seinfeld/NBC)