Abz Just Quit 5ive, Gave A Bizarre Interview About How Much Everyone Sucks

On Thursday last week, an event took place which rocked an exceedingly tiny corner of the internet: Richard Breen aka Abz Love — one of the rapping ones from UK boyband 5ive, who now spells his name with a triangle — announced he had quit the band.

It was surprising mainly for the revelation that 5ive was still a band.

As of today I am no longer a member of @Official5ive Thank you to all the fans who supported, I love you all..

— ΔBZ (@abzlove) August 28, 2014

Abz, Ritchie, Scott, Sean and J were pieced together in 1997 by the same group who manufactured The Spice Girls; they were signed by Simon Cowell and BMG/RCA for a six-album deal.

Their debut LP 5ive was a cultural touchstone for the same generation who idolised The Spice Girls and The Backstreet Boys. It was introduced to the world with their first single, which you probably know the dance to:

5ive was followed-up by Invincible in 1999, with ‘If Ya Gettin’ Down, ‘Keep On Movin’ and ‘Don’t Wanna Let You Go’ all reaching the top ten in the UK. But the group were dropped from their US label the following year, and their next album, Kingsize, came with all kinds of trouble.

Trouble which was summed up neatly in the film clip to ‘Let’s Dance’, which featured a life-size cardboard cut-out standing in for Sean.

The boy-band/girl-group bubble had burst, and Five officially called it quits in 2001. They attempted to reunite in 2006, but couldn’t get a good enough record deal; Abz was the only one who pursued a solo career, releasing the hideously named Abstract before being dropped from his label, losing all his money, and moving to the country with his wife. It wasn’t until they were approached by UK reality show The Big Reunion that the band got together once again. Well, most of the band; J didn’t want a bar of it.

Reduced to 4our, the remaining members toured Australia at the end of 2013, with another tour announced for October. But last week, after longstanding rumours (which had been denied by the band), Abz announced that 5ive were now 3hree.

As you will know by now @abzlove has decided to leave the band your support through this has been truly breathtaking thank you #KeepOnMovin

— 5ive (@official5ive) September 1, 2014

A few days prior to the tweets, Abz was interviewed by Brad Szmerling for Australian pop site, auspOp. Szmerling had no idea at the time that Abz was about to call it quits. And the interview is kind of amazing as a result.

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On Scott And Ritchie Being Shit Song-Writers:

“I think us three [Abz, J and Sean] just wrote the better music to be honest. The other two guys would write stuff and it would come back and it was like, ‘That’s a bit rubbish’, but it got put on the album anyway. That said, we never released any of their songs as singles.

“It was the stuff Sean, J and I did that really set what 5ive was about. I think if we had gone with the other two’s stuff, 5ive would have been a lesser band.”

On Not Telling Scott And Ritchie They Were Shit Song-Writers:

“I was thinking about it, but it’s that many years ago now. But to bring it up and say, ‘Rich, Scott, I thought the songs that you wrote were shit, so that’s why they’re doing our stuff’. How would you say something like that to somebody?”

On Never Not Wanting To Wear Neon:

“We had a stylist and we kind of went along with things, but then the outfits started getting stupid, like silver and reflective — and I was all about my neon colours, so if there was a big pair of orange trousers, I would want them.

“That would start war with the stylists, record company and management. They’d get on the phone and it would be an hour before any of us were dressed. When the band split up, there was nothing I could wear! It was all fucking ridiculous bits. I had to buy everything all over again.”

On Trying To Sell All His Clothes That Weren’t Neon: 

“I tried to! At one point, I had this ‘We Will Rock You’ denim thing with all these studs on it and I tried to sell it on eBay, but no one wanted it. That was probably about three years ago when I was broke and I was going through some of my shit. I nearly sold my BRIT Award.”

On Telling Britney Spears She’s Full Of Shit, And Spitting At Christina Aguilera: 

“We were presenting [Britney Spears] with an MTV award or something like that. We were walking off the stage and she turned around and she said, ‘hey I really love your guys’ music’ and I was like ‘name one’ to her and she didn’t. I think I said to her, ‘you’re full of shit’.

“Oh and Christina Aguilera not letting us into a lift is another one. We were at an awards show and the lift opened and she was acting like it was her lift. So I think we spat at the lift and threw a couple of things at it.”

On Cardboard Sean: 

“Yeah. I mean it shows it for what it is. It’s a machine and if a part breaks on it, you just replace the part so that it can still churn out whatever it needs to make.”

“Someone tweeted me two and bit years ago, saying that she had the actual cardboard cutout from the video, asking what she should do with it. There were holes in it too. It’s like, what the hell’s been going on here, man? …That hole is too big to be a BB gun hole.’’

On J Not Joining The Reunion Cake:

“I knew in my heart that if we wanted to come back properly as a proper band again the priority needed to be having all five of us together so that the formula is complete, instead of having one missing ingredient.

“If we were making a cake, J would be the eggs. He’s an essential part of the ingredients and so with him missing, the cake never rose. It just kind of stayed flat and not properly cooked. There were a few raisins in it and I don’t like raisins so I had to take them out. You get what I’m trying to say with that analogy? There was no cherry icing on the top. It was just a shitty cake and that’s all it’s been since.”

On The Logic Of Numbers:

“5ive was five people. When you’re four, all right, make do with four. Then when it gets down to three and then two… If they had to do the opening rap of ‘Slam Dunk (Da Funk)’, it would be ‘two, what you waiting two, two, one, let’s do it’.”

“We’ve kind of got away with four, but it’s not right. Now it’s three. Call yourself ‘half’, you know what I’m saying? It’s ridiculous, it’s getting stupid.”

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Head to auspOp for the full, amazing interview.