A Fan’s Open Letter To Mindy Kaling

The weirdly catchiest opening theme song on television.

Dear Mindy Kaling –

First of all, I love you. I mean that in the platonic way – I’m not huddled in the bushes outside your apartment building or anything like that – but if you wanted to hang out sometime and watch Real Housewives or have a Rihanna dance party, I’d be open to it. Anyway, I’m writing to say congratulations on your good news – I just heard that The Mindy Project was picked up for a second season! I’m sure that, as we speak, you’re canoodling with BJ Novak or chilling on Usher’s private jet or whatever TV stars do with their days, but if you have a minute, I have a favour to ask – can you please make The Mindy Project better?

The pilot episode was really great, especially the opening sequence where your character crashed her ex’s wedding then rode a bike into a swimming pool. Dr Mindy Lahiri is a super likeable lead character, the kind of person you want to hang around with each week. With each new episode, though, the show’s premise becomes a little fuzzier. Is it about doctors? Sure, the people in it wear scrubs from time to time, but take away the outfits and they could be in any office anywhere. Is it a romantic comedy? The stories about Mindy’s dating life are usually the best ones, but the focus on them seems to shift all the time. Please just find a solid premise and stick with it for a while.

Then there are the characters. Jeremy is a handsome cad, but any depth he has starts and ends with his British accent. Danny is a handsome guy who is nice… but maybe also sort of a jerk? The office staff are all pretty interchangeable, except for Morgan, who is funny thanks to that I Heart Huckabees-era Mark Wahlberg energy he brings. These people are around to fill out the show, but really, what do they even do from week to week? There was a storyline about a couple who wanted Danny to be their sperm donor, and there was one episode where the office staff found ways to goof off instead of working on Saturday, but that’s all I remember from a dozen or so episodes. Next year, can you please throw some good storylines their way?

One more thing – can you please pick a cast that you like and stick with them? Every couple of episodes, another actor or actress disappears – Richard Schiff, Stephen Tobolowsky, Amanda Setton and even Anna Camp. Those couple of lines of dialogue dispatching her as Mindy’s best friend were pretty harsh. There are so many people on the show that I’m starting to lose track of who they all are. When I glanced at The Mindy Project’s IMDB page and saw that Tommy Dewey played Josh, I was all “Who the hell is that?” before it dawned on me that he played your boyfriend for seven episodes. A few changes like these are expected when a show finds its feet, but please, can you see how the current cast works out before getting all new people in?

I’m sorry to be so negative. The show has been a lot stronger since it came back from hiatus this year. There have been some great episodes in the last few weeks, especially the one with your kid brother. Seth Rogen was great as your old boyfriend from Jewish summer camp – I hope he comes back somewhere down the line. I like the fact that Beth “Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment To Sparkle Motion” Grant appears to be sticking around as a receptionist, but can you please give her character something interesting to do, other than jokes about how old people can’t use computers and email? I hear that Chloe Sevigny may be in the mix sometime soon as a recurring guest star – please make the most of her.

 

I probably sound like a total jerk, but I’m only saying these things because I love you and I want to see you hooking up with cute, famous guys and having deep and meaningful conversations with mean dolls for a lot longer. You’re hilarious, and you deserve a hilarious show around you.

Sincerely, AD

PS – “I would just like to say something off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. That is actually a zoning issue.” BEST EVER.

_

Alasdair Duncan is an author, freelance writer and video game-lover who has had work published in Crikey, The Drum, The Brag, Beat, Rip It Up, The Music Network, Rave Magazine, AXN Cult and Star Observer.