During the week, you were full of hope and motivation for the weekend ahead. Your sweet, naive brain thought it was a good idea to make plans to fill every second. YOLO, you thought. Might as well live to the fullest.

Your coworker asked you to a 9am brunch on Saturday? Hell yeah, why not. You got an invitation to go for a hike on Sunday? Absolutely, the outdoors are great! You were asked to attend a raging, booze-filled pub crawl on Friday? You mean before that 9am brunch? Definitely. Can’t see any problem with that.

Now it’s Friday afternoon. You’re exhausted from your week and want nothing more than to collapse on the couch and watch an unhealthy amount of Netflix. Why the hell did you make so many freakin’ plans?

The good news is that shameless excuses exist. They don’t call us a generation of flakes for nothing. Here’s a list of foolproof excuses that are sure to get you out of any weekend plan.

#1 “I Have A Headache”

A headache isn’t severe enough to render you useless for a long period of time but it’s bad enough that it’ll get you out of a social engagement. It’s almost perfect.

#2 “I Have The Runs”

An excuse that shuts down any possible follow up questions.

#3 “I’m Way Too Hungover”

The hangover excuse is a bit of a gamble and depends entirely on your relationship with the friend. If you’re super close with them, they’ll probably just laugh and say they’ll catch you later. If they don’t know you very well, they’ll definitely think you’re an irresponsible flake. Balance this wisely.

#4 “I’ve Had A Family Emergency”

Here’s where it gets a little morally ambiguous. If people ask questions, you may just have to answer them. Are you willing to orchestrate an elaborate tale about a fake aunt and her knee surgery? Can you handle yourself under the pressure? Are you prepared to weave this story into conversations for the next few months to cement its accuracy?

Alternatively, “it’s too difficult to talk about” also works. See you in hell.

#5 “I Forgot I Already Made Plans”

Yeah, plans with MYSELF to do nothing but LIE ON THE COUCH with a family size packet of LIGHT & TANGY CHIPS. Boo yeah!

#6 “My Foot Started Hurting This Morning And It Just Hasn’t Stopped”

This is a great excuse because it instills a sense of panic within the person you’re cancelling on. If you play dumb – “Yeah, I dunno man, it came out of nowhere” – you’ll have them feeling sorry for you and totally fine about cancelling.

Next time you see them, just say it was a false alarm and it got better all of a sudden. “So weird, right?” The perfect, no commitment excuse.

#7 “I Have To Work Late”

Have you been complaining about work lately? Use it to your advantage! The great thing about the working late excuse is that all the blame falls on your unassuming manager. Your friend doesn’t know who that guy is but man, do they hate ’em.

“Me too, man. Me too.”

#8 “I Genuinely Have $6.73 Left In My Account”

Does this count as an excuse if it’s likely true? Being broke sucks and everyone knows it. You’ll get a free pass.

#9 “My Dog Just Ate Chocolate”

You might think this sounds a lot like the corny “my dog ate my homework” excuse, but trust us. It’s much, much better.

Having your dog eat chocolate means you’re stressed, you’re worried, you gotta take it to the vet, you gotta figure out if it’s OK. There’s so much going on! Your friend would be a monster for thinking that you’re anything other than a concerned pet parent who has to look after their sweet child.

There you go. You’ve successfully canceled every plan you had for this weekend. Now sit on the couch and sink into that feeling of freedom. Ahh, that’s the stuff.

(Lead image: 30 Rock/NBC)