We all have those days. We wake up in morning with either a killer hangover or a sense of dread for the long, boring day ahead.

Never fear. We’ve constructed an entire list of foolproof excuses to get you out of any tiresome situation. If you’re running out of white lies, here are some that you might not have heard before and are impossible to argue with.

Enjoy your day off!

#1 “My Car Broke Down!”

This one is quite helpful. Let work or uni know 10 minutes before you’re supposed to be there that your car broke down on the way.

Therefore, it’s now too late for you to take the bus or find some other way of transportation. Also, if your imaginary car is getting towed away you’ll obviously have to go with it to the mechanics. Boom. Now you have a day off.

#2 “I Have Gastro.”

This is different from pulling your average sickie. If you’ve ever had gastro before, you’ll know it’s not only the worst week of your life, but it’s highly contagious.

Not even the worst of managers will force you to come into work when you’re throwing up your breakfast. They won’t want you anywhere near them. Chances are they’ll probably offer you an extra week off.

#3 “I’m Picking Up My Grandmother From The Airport.”

Airport excuses are the way to go if you want a night off. No person is going to say, “No you can’t pick your grandmother up, tell her to get the bus.” And if someone does say that, there’s a special place in hell for sick bastards like them.

#4 “I Have That Important Family Meal.”  

It’s hard to argue with this one. Whether it’s your uncle’s 50th birthday or your aunt visiting from England, you must stress that it’s an important family day and you’ll be in trouble if you miss it.

Make sure it’s a family member that you actually have, or you may get caught in your lie later on when they find out your parents have no siblings.

#5 “I’m Out Of The Country.”

This one requires a lot of skill to pull off effectively and should only be used as an extreme case when all else fails.

Check the location of your snapchats, Facebook posts and Twitter. And if you’re pretending to be in another country, it’s best to not venture outside at all, lest you bump into your boss while you’re having cocktails at the bar with your friends.

#6 “I Have Court Duty.”

Let your professor know you’ve been scheduled for jury duty. And if they have anything smart to say about it let them know that nobody, not even uni professors, are above the law.

Tread careful with this one though, they might ask to see some proof.

#7 “I Have Allergies.”

Simply tell your boss or lecturer that you accidentally ate some peanuts and you’re having an allergic reaction. Tell them it’s nothing life threatening but they’d be crazy to force you to come to class or work when you look like a giant cheesy puff.

The best part about this one? You don’t need a sick note.

#8 “I Can’t Get Off The Toilet.”

Just tell your boss that you’ve been on the toilet all morning. Nobody wants to hear more about your diarrhoea, so they likely won’t pry any further.

This is a go-to excuse for the student who doesn’t mind putting their personal business on blast. Mostly because there’s a good chance you’ll be called Sir Shits-A-Lot by your colleagues when you return back to work.

Sophie Nicolas is studying a Bachelor of Arts in creative writing and is an aspiring writer, dog enthusiast and thrift shop fashion icon.

(Lead image: Mean Girls/Paramount)