Forgetting to reply to texts is a straight up disease. While my friends call it “inconsiderate” and “rude” or even “straight up frustrating”, I compel them to think about what it’s like from my perspective.

Serial text-forgetters go through shit too, OK? We miss out on stuff, we’re roasted mercilessly by our friends, we have endless wells of guilt sitting at the bottom of our stomach. We’re just sweet, forgetful angels who’re also raging scumbags. Give us a break.

Here’s a few things that we go through.

#1 Seeing It And Thinking You’ll Reply Later

If there were such a thing as text replying rehab (which, there should be), the first step in the program would be to repeat the phrase, “you will not reply later”.

If you glance at your phone while watching a movie, glance at your phone while you’re out – pretty much glance at it any time or place, you will not be replying.

#2 Typing Out The Message And Forgetting To Send It

If you’re anything like me, this happens more than you care to admit. You immediately type out a reply to a text as soon as you see it (because you’re aware of your track record, thank you) but get distracted by something before you hit send.

A week later, you get a follow up text asking “what’s up” and your head spins out of control. But you SWEAR you replied? Queue the pre-used “sorry I forgot to reply” text.

#3 You Have A Standard Apology When You Finally Do Reply

When you finally realise you forgot to reply, you overcompensate with approximately one bajillion messages of apology. It goes a little something like this:

“Ommmggggg, I forgot to reply. Soooo sorry. Don’t hate meeee” plus a million love heart emojis. Woopsie.

#4 You Accidentally Miss Out On Shit

Sure, it’s your fault that you forgot to reply but damn it hurts when you miss out on things because of it. Before you know it, your mates are heading out for brunches, going to the movies and meeting up for study sessions and you only just remembered you didn’t reply to them.

#5 Your Friends Are Brutal

The roasting about your terrible replying is next level. So much so, you wonder if your friends are actually joking or are close to giving up on you completely.

#6 Dealing With The Passive Aggressive Follow Up Texts

Ugh, I GET IT. Yes, I did forget to reply to your text. And no, I wouldn’t have remembered if you didn’t send me three consecutive question marks.

But damn, chill a little please.

#7 Sometimes, The Silence Is Intentional

When you get a creepy follow up text from a date you weren’t in to, or an toxic friend asking to catch up, it’s much easier to just let it sit there than deal with it.

Yes, it’s a cowardly move. And it would be ideal if you we would find the words to let people down easy. But just remember: we’re non-replying trash bags. If we can’t even reply to our loved ones, you can’t expect us to reply to people we don’t care about.

#8 We Will Never Change

I’m sorry to my friends, I’m sorry to my family. I’m sorry to the two guys I’ve been on tinder dates with and wasn’t remotely interested in.

Because here’s the thing: I will never change. Every text-forgetter you know will not change. You have to except us as we are, or call us if you want a direct answer within 48 hours.

We’re sorry.

(Lead image: Parks and Recreation/NBC)