Around this time of year, there’s a certain tinge to the air on campus. It’s like the static charge of an impending thunderstorm, or the period of calm before the lunch rush at Subway.

Exam period has become just visible over the horizon, and while to some it may seem a long way off, others are quietly starting to lose their minds.

Here’s a few signs you might need to join the latter.

Your tutes now carry the air of an abandoned mining town

As the semester drags on, there’s an inevitable drop-off in attendance. Some people drop out, and others just aren’t great at attending anything that doesn’t involve a fridge or a couch.

But just before exams, even dedicated, hardworking students stop showing up, and it’s just you, your tutor, a tumbleweed, and a couple of cruisy kids trying to get by on goodwill and participation points.

This is because the rest of the class is freaking out about their workload to such a degree that driving and parking seem like wasted revision time. But congrats to you for being chill.

Looking at your calendar triggers hysterical laugh-crying

Ever wake up from a study-induced nap, realise what week it is, and think, “where the hell did the semester go?”

It seems like only a couple of weeks ago we were attending our first classes of 2015. We went to all our lectures, kept up with homework, and felt smugly superior about how far ahead we were with the readings. We were young. We were ahead of the game.

Now Father Time has raced ahead of us, our study schedules lie in tatters, and all we can do is try to ignore the clock as it ticks towards inevitability.

You’ve spent more time calculating your prospects of passing than actually studying

You know you’re in trouble when you haven’t touched your revision, but you’ve identified the minimum exam score you need to pass to four decimal places.

This is just your brain balking at a perceived lack of return-on-investment. When human brains aren’t certain that effort will result in any tangible benefit, they tend to encourage procrastination.

The only way to break this cycle is to – you guessed it – stop obsessing and start revising. But slow down there, Fifty Shades. There’s no need to chain yourself to your desk. Personally, I opt for the sprint method: short, intense bursts of revision (like a quiz) between periods of household chores, listening to lectures, and XBOX.

You can’t imagine life after semester ends

Just like Frodo at the start of the first Lord of the Rings movie, your task appears so insurmountable that you can’t even visualise its resolution.

Your world has become a never-ending journey through plain after plain of chapter readings, and the only thing you know for sure is that the worst is still to come.

Will semester ever end? Was there ever really a time outside semester? I for one theorise that the semester is eternal; an infinitely recursive countdown towards a conclusion that, like the event horizon of a black hole, is beyond our capacity to know.

Or maybe I just watched Interstellar too many times (damn, that docking scene, though).

You’ve added adventurer, lion tamer and drug mule to your list of potential career paths

Is uni really worth all this stress? Would it really be so bad to just forget all the endless deadlines, tests, essays and exam timetables, and see what life without a degree can offer you?

It could be fun! Why not go explore the Peruvian Alps? Or join ASIO and become embroiled in shady scenes of international intrigue? And would it really be so bad to join a Mexican drug cartel? They take siestas over there – naps in the afternoon, guys! In the bloody afternoon!

At worst, you’ll end up one of those really well-travelled 39 year olds who list their occupation as “student of life” and dispense benign cynicism to teenagers through a haze of cigarette smoke and not-quite-dreadlocked-hair. Mysterious, distinguished and with a faint hint of danger, all this can be yours for the simple price of mortgaging your future.

Exams may seem scary, but they’re usually only a problem if you start revising the week before they commence. My advice is to start revision now, and maybe ask your tutor for a practice paper. Just a little revision every day for a few weeks is far better than 48 hours’ worth of cramming. Go forth!

Business major, journalism minor and sometime voice-actor, Joel Svensson pretends to be smart at La Trobe University in Melbourne.

(Lead image: How I Met Your Mother/CBS)