School sport was great. You could run around with all your friends, your coaches would tell you what to do, and no matter the outcome, your parents would be there to tell you how proud they are.

Unfortunately, as we grew up, so did the way we play sport. And while uni sport is great and all, school sport is definitely more of a distant cousin than younger sibling. So, to help with the transition we’ve rounded up five ways in which the two differ.

#1 You Need Roll Call Now More Than Ever

Remember when responsible adults check everyone’s name off a list to make sure we were all accounted for? All you had to do was yell “here” and it was all always taken care of.

Now it’s more like, “Hold on, wait. Where’s Izzy? Does she even play anymore? Who knows, but she’s still in the group chat, so, maybe? Who’s that person I’ve never seen before? Oh, they’re playing with us? Cool.”

This mess wouldn’t be happening if we still had responsible adults and role call.

#2 Alcohol Is Now Involved

Alcohol is perhaps the best addition to sport. Especially when added into events like uni games. The actual playing probably doesn’t get better, but the game definitely gets more fun. Except for beer pong, which is most definitely a sport, and most definitely played more skilfully when drunk.

Today, we’re getting drunk with our coaches. Back then, it was sunnies on and pray they wouldn’t notice if we were slightly hungover. Yeah… They noticed.

#3 Parental Pride Is Dramatically Diminished

Ah, parents. They used to be so proud of us in Year 5 hockey scoring one goal to the opponents’ 15. Not so much nowadays.

Now, you’re more likely to hear, “You’re still playing hockey?” than having a dedicated cheer squad. Their sweet, unwavering support has been replaced by a “Oh, yeah, how’s that going?” text the week after the match.

#4 The After Parties Are Better

Gone are the days of pizza parties or going out for ice-cream after a win. In are the days of getting drunk and trying to find the boys team for some out of hours “training”.

However, whether pizza or booze, can we all admit that the after party is the main reason we rocked up in the first place?

#5 Competitiveness Gets Crazy

Back in the day, there was always that one rival school. No one knows why we hated them, but we did. At uni though, that rivalry has gotten serious.

This isn’t just a hatred because some guy a few years above told you that you hate them. This is a hatred born out of the fact that they chose the wrong uni, the wrong life path and they need to go down.

It’s objectively crazy, but every uni has that one rival. It doesn’t matter how the rivalry started. What matters is winning. Or failing that, who can throw the better after party. We all know that’s the real sport anyway.

(Lead image: She’s The Man/DreamWorks)