Sure, it would be too easy to blame the rise of dating apps that double as games, or even our own busy lifestyles. But there’s no denying that undefined relationships are becoming more common amongst the uni crowd.

While they’ve always been at the beginning of most relationships, they’re now being extended into a way of life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some great things about an undefined relationship. Such as more freedom, less cheesy couple stuff, and more time to figure out if they’re right for you before you start the relationship. But, they’re also a massive pain in the arse.

Here’s a list of things that seriously suck about undefined relationships.

#1 Introducing Them To New People

Anyone who has been in an undefined relationship is familiar with that awkward pause that comes with introductions. Do you risk offending them and just say “friend”? Or coming across too strong by jumping the gun and calling them your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Alternatively, you could go TMI and say “lover”, or keep the mystery alive and you know, just give their name. What are they to you? No one will ever know.

#2 Avoiding The Parents

People either fall into one of two camps: they love meeting parents and thoroughly believe themselves to be genuinely delightful, or meeting the parents is a shit-your-pants scary occasion which requires about three different judges on what is appropriate to wear.

No matter which camp you fall into, there is nothing worse than trying to figure out if you’re at that stage yet. It’s trickier if they live with their parents, meaning you’ll either be sneaking around trying not to be noticed or just straight up avoiding their house.

#3 Having To Pack A Night Bag

If you’re sleeping over all the time, a toothbrush, change of undies, and some other personal items can be invaluable. But leaving your precious possessions at another person’s house is a pretty big commitment. You’re basically saying that you’ll definitely be back.

So, do you pack a night bag with the obvious presumption that you’re sleeping over? Or go without and just be gross? There’s no winning.

#4 Never Quite Feeling Settled Or Safe

Your relationship is probably not in the best place when you can relate to a Taylor Swift song. But “Out of the Woods”, with lyrics like “are we in the clear yet?”, is a pretty solid description of the insecurity of an undefined relationship.

Knowing that they’re not quite committed to you always does make you feel like you can’t quite show your crazy yet. To be honest, we’re all fumbling around in the woods, too scared to put a foot wrong.

#5 Not Knowing The Rules

If you haven’t had the “are we exclusive?” chat yet, are you basically single? If you do see an insanely attractive person, are you obligated to tell them if something happens?

There’s no hard and fast rule, which is what makes it so awfully complicated. No one wants to mess up a good thing, but how do you avoid that when the rules aren’t clear?

Easily the most annoying part of an undefined relationship is the balance between “single”, “in a relationship”, and “it’s complicated”. If only it was as easy as Facebook makes it seem.

Anne is a law student at Flinders University who spends way too much time with her cat and not enough with actual humans.

(Lead image: Bridesmaids/Universal)