You Won’t Believe How Michael Douglas Got Cancer
Oral sex, guys :(
Just under two years ago, Hollywood superstar Michael Douglas was diagnosed with throat cancer. The illness and aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatment caused him to lose over 13 kgs. Thankfully, he’s healthier now, and earning rave reviews for his role as Liberace in Steven Soderbergh’s, Behind The Candelabra.
In an interview with The Guardian over the weekend, the actor spoke candidly on the reasons behind his health battles. It wasn’t, as the paper’s Xan Brooks suggested, seeded in the actor’s well-known issues with drugs and alcohol (he’d famously checked into rehab in ’92, just after the release of Basic Instinct)…
“No,” said Douglas. “Because, without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”
“From cunnilingus,” continued Douglas, after everyone wiped their chins. “I mean, I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it… It giveth and it taketh.”
Since The Guardian clearly recognised that once the whole world read the interview, we’d all be like “WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??”, they followed up the piece with some scientific explanations.
HPV is common – if you’re a sexually active adult, you’ve probably had it. By the age of 25, 90% of sexually active people will have been exposed to some form of genital HPV.
It is calculated that between 25% and 35% of oral cancers are HPV-related – meaning that it seems to be involved in 1,500-2,000 diagnoses a year.
You know how old people always referred to Barry White as “the voice that launched a thousand pregnancies?” Yeah, this interview is the opposite of that. Still, we’re glad to hear you’re well, Gordon Gekko. No one is ever having sex ever again.
Behind The Candelabra premiered on US television on May 26, and will be getting a local theatrical release on July 11.