The 12 Best Jokes In Obama’s Address To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Each year, the White House Correspondents’ Association hosts an annual dinner, and invites the President of the United States to  make a whole bunch of retributory jokes at their expense.

This year’s dinner was held over the weekend, and headlined by Joel McHale: “On Community, Joel plays a preening, self obsessed narcissist,” the President said. “So, this dinner must be a real change of pace for you.”

Obama’s speeches at these dinners are always worth watching, and this year was no exception. “Before I get started, can we get the new Presidential set-up out here?” he began. As a pompous fanfare swelled around him, two ferns were brought out to sit on either side of the podium. “It’s worked before.”

Watch the full speech, or scroll through our highlights below.

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Conceded That 2013 Kind Of Sucked, And Laughed At The Botched Launch Of Healthcare.Gov: 

“I admit it. Last year was rough. Sheesh! At one point things got so bad, the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologise.

“Of course, we rolled out Healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. In 2008, my slogan was, ‘Yes, we can’. In 2013 my slogan was ‘Control, alt, delete’.

On the plus side, they did turn the launch of Healthcare.gov into the launch of one the year’s biggest movies.”

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Ridiculed CNN’s Apparent Inability To Cover Anything Except Flight 370:

“I am happy to be here even though I am a little jet lagged from my trip to Malaysia, the lengths we have to go to the get CNN coverage these days.

[Long pause]

“I think they’re still searching for their table.”

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Laughed At MSNBC’s Ratings:

“MSNBC is here.  They’re a little overwhelmed.  They’ve never seen an audience this big before.”

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Mocked Fox News:

“I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people between two ferns. And I’m not the first young person on television between two potted plants.”

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And Then Mocked Them Again: 

“And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here tonight. But as usual they used a shadowy right wing organisation as a front. Hello, FOX News.

I’m just kidding. Let’s face it, FOX, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.”

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Laughed At The Republicans’ Difficulty With Reaching Women: 

“Republicans — this is a true story — Republicans actually brought in a group of consultants to teach their candidates how to speak to women. This is true.

“I don’t know if it will work with women but I understand that America’s teenage boys are signing up to run for the Senate in droves.”

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Mocked Seattle Seahawks Quarterback/Infamous Ranter Richard Sherman, And Then Pulled This Face: 

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Gave Good Tips On Racism:

“Michelle and I watched the Olympics, we can’t believe what these young folks do. Death-defying feats. I haven’t seen 180 so fast since Rand Paul disinvited that Nevada rancher from this dinner.

As a general rule, things don’t end well if the sentence starts, ‘let me tell you something I know about the Negro.’

You don’t really need to hear the rest of it. Just a tip for you. Don’t start your sentence that way.”

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Pointed At Speaker John Boehner’s Bizarrely Tinted Hue: 

“And I’m feeling sorry — believe it or not — for the speaker of the House as well.  These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me, which means orange really is the new black.”

It’s a bit Colbert has done before too:

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Made A Game Of Thrones Gag, Too: 

“This year I’ve promised to use more executive actions to get things done without Congress. My critics call this the imperial presidency.

“The truth is I show up every day at my office and do my job. We have a picture of this, I think.”

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Dealt Well With A Technical Fuck-Up: 

“I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. George W. Bush took up painting after he left office, which inspired me to take up my own artistic side.

“I’m sure we’ve got a shot of this.  Maybe not.  The joke doesn’t work without the slide.

“Oh, well.  Assume that it was funny.”

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Laughed At Putin, And The Conservatives Who Love Him:

“You would think they’d appreciate a more assertive approach considering that the new conservative darling is none other than Vladimir Putin. Last year, Pat Buchanan said Putin is headed straight for the Nobel Peace Prize.

“He said this. I know it sounds crazy. But to be fair they give those to just about anybody these days. So it could happen.

“But it’s not just Pat. Rudy Giuliani said Putin is what you call a leader.  Mike Huckabee and Sean Hannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kind of weird.”

And then this excellent collage happened:

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The President wasn’t the only one to poke fun at his peers. The Washington Post helpfully made a graph of Who Got Burned The Most by host Joel McHale. Chris Christie did not do well:

Here’s a best-of: