“I’m Scared Of Women”: Watch ‘The Feed’ Brutally Skewer Scott Morrison’s Women’s Day Speech

Given how emphatically bland he is, it’s almost surprising how consistently and shockingly wrongheaded Scott Morrison still manages to be, some six months into his long wet fart of a Prime Ministership.

For example, once every year, the Australian Prime Minister has to stand up on International Women’s Day and say something supportive about women. It would be nice, of course, if the Prime Minister could back up these pleasantries with some actual legislation, or make politics more accessible for women, or do literally anything other than acting like the second coming of Christ for murmuring some manicured, affected slogans about how women are “leaders”.

But at the bare minimum, as Prime Minister, you have to stand before the cameras and make a speech that, no matter how empty, at the very least does not offend the very demographic you are trying to honour.

"What he said to women… was 'Yeah, you can be equal, just not as equal as men" @sarahinthesen8 on Scott Morrison's #IWD2019 speech #QandA pic.twitter.com/OUxsB8dZVR

— ABC Q&A (@QandA) March 11, 2019

Scott Morrison, as he has clearly proved, cannot do this. Our Prime Minister’s Women’s Day speech was a dog whistle for sexists so catastrophically cringey that it attracted international attention (and his sorta ‘apology’ was no better.)

Now, Morrison’s penchant for embarrassing the country that he is meant to represent on an international scale has been skewered by The Feed, who have released their own version of a ScoMo-style apology.

“Hello ladies!” a behatted and bleary “Scott Morrison” begins, before deciding maybe that’s not the way to go.

“Over the weekend, I made some comments about your ‘special little day’,” he tries again.

“Equality is not about pitting one Australian against another Australian, I don’t like that unless I’m doing it.”

From there, he goes on to thank his favourite women — his wife, his daughters, Dame Edna, and of course, Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

It’s a deliciously vicious riposte to the patented Morrison mix of murmured nothings, halting, staccato delivery and his bizarre dedication to inserting his own photoshopped foot deep into his gob. Though, it might be easier to laugh at if the man wasn’t actually running the country.