Politics

Eric Abetz Just Gave Scott Morrison A Wood Block Carving Of His Face, And We Have Questions

This is going straight to the pool room.

by Sam Langford  2 May 2019
scott morrison wood block

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Twenty days into this federal election, most of us are sick of seeing Scott Morrison’s face. Not so for Liberal senator Eric Abetz, though, who decided today to present the Prime Minister with an intricate wood block carving of that face, or something close to it.

Abetz, best known for homophobia and having a big sook, handed Morrison the wood block carving at an event in Tasmania today, raising quite a few eyebrows (and questions). Before we get into all that, though, gaze upon it:

Now that we’re all on the same page: what the actual fuck? For one, is this Abetz’s own art, or someone else’s? Why do streaks of wood appear to be radiating out from around Morrison’s head as if he is some kind of saint? Does Scott Morrison plan to keep this work of art on his desk beside the weird trophy he has to remind him he stopped the boats? How long did this take??

Then there’s the question of who this wood block carving actually looks like, because it’s safe to say it’s, uh, not Scott Morrison. People have ventured that it actually looks more like Andrew Wilkie, Lou Richards, John Safran or [insert generic white man’s name here] — personally, I suffer from prosopagnosia, so I couldn’t possibly weigh in except to suggest that maybe whoever carved this does too?

We may never know the answer to many of these questions. One thing’s for certain, though: this is going straight to the pool room.