Scorching Heat And Screaming Matches: Awkward Family Christmas With Benjamin Law

When you’ve got enough cringeworthy family stories to create a hit autobiographical comedy series, chances are you’ve got a few awkward Christmas stories to boot. Writer and critic Clem Bastow speaks to Benjamin Law and finds out how the festive season goes down with five siblings and divorced parents, a silly season after which anybody would #needasprite.

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When asked if there is a particular family Christmas memory that still crackles with the heat of embarrassment, Benjamin Law doesn’t hesitate. “I think the nadir was when all the siblings and parents got stuck in a screaming match so loud, one concerned neighbour came around, wondering if she needed to call the police,” he recalls.

The creator and writer of SBS’ The Family Law was blessed with an embarrassment of riches when it came to choosing which moments in his life to fold into the TV adaptation. If anybody is intimately familiar with awkward moments, it’s Law. And it should not surprise you to learn that Law and his family have a deep well of material to draw on when it comes to festive awkwardness.

“Oh man,” he says. “You put together five adult siblings, divorced parents who don’t speak together anymore, throw in myriad random partners — some new, some old — as well as a grab bag of random in-laws, and you’ve got a recipe for weirdness already.”

It’s that weirdness that made The Family Law such a hit with viewers. The “comedy about divorce” — its second series currently in production — brought us delightful moments of cringe-inducing dramedy like young Ben’s dreams of acting stardom (and the best watermelon costume in television history), mum Jenny’s constant inappropriate remarks, the mysterious Aunty Rose, and, of course, a catastrophic Christmas lunch.

So just how did the family Law diffuse that Christmas screaming match for the ages?

“Asian people are pretty good at tricking everyone around us that everything’s a-okay (yes this is a massive generalisation, let’s just run with it), and all I remember is passing out on the sofa from frustration, before waking up, realising it was nighttime, and that everyone had walked off their anger together,” Law says.

“The thing about the Laws is we don’t have that much stamina or appetite for confrontation, and after a while, we kind of pass out and lose consciousness, one by one, triggered partly by emotional exhaustion, partly by alcohol, before the Queensland summer heat seals the deal.”

In other words, the Laws wouldn’t be the first family to have come to blows over which way to carve the turkey, who gets the Christmas cracker toy, or a distant uncle’s “opinions” about gender politics, only to fall into a snack-related coma and wake up in time for a spot of ballroom dancing on the TV and leftover pudding for late supper.

There’s something about the way the planets align at Christmas that is as good a recipe for total family meltdown as your nanna’s closely guarded recipe is for gravy.

“Whenever you’re flung together, there’s the potential for horror.”

In fact, Law wonders whether it’s not so much Christmas that sends people around the bend, but the fact that Christmas is one of the few times of the year when the whole family get together — and in doing so, perhaps remember why you don’t all live in the same house anymore.

“It’s family in general,” he says. “You spend your entire childhood with people you had no say in sharing your space, then adulthood reveals you’re allowed to be where you want, with whom, and on your own terms.”

“And whenever you’re flung together, there’s the potential for horror. Christmas amplifies it because there’s this shared expectation that Everyone Must Be Happy.”

For those hoping that season two of The Family Law might feature a Christmas episode ripped straight from the headlines of December 25, 2016, you may be disappointed. This year, the Law family’s lunch looks like it will be positively sedate.

“Thankfully everyone’s way more chill nowadays,” Law says with palpable relief. “Most of the kids have hit our thirties, we’ve settled our scores and hatchets have been buried. So we’re probably going to do a ‘bring a plate’ in our sister Tammy and her husband Bruce’s backyard. Plus, we’ve lived in Australia for long enough now that my parents understand that ‘bring a plate’ doesn’t literally mean to simply bring a single empty plate.”

And what of those of us who want to embrace the awkwardness of Australian Christmas cheer as the sun boils the salad and gives the turkey a serious case of the sweats? Law’s advice is to just dive in and go for it — and don’t skimp on the guestlist.

“The more the merrier. For a long time, we were weirdly resistant to including partners and friends in the mix. But turns out, the presence of outsiders totally keeps you on your best behaviour. No one’s ever thought of calling the police since.”

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Some families are destined to a lifetime of awkwardness. If yours is one of them, come Christmas you’re going to #needasprite.