Meet Sammy J, Head Of Heaven’s Increasingly Overworked Department Of Thoughts And Prayers
"Yeah, I guess it's easier to say something than to actually do something. That's probably why thoughts and prayers are so popular."
Ever wonder exactly where all those thoughts and prayers spouted by politicians in the wake of another completely preventable mass shooting go? Well, according to Sammy J and the folks over at ABC Comedy, there’s a department in heaven designed just to sort through them.
Meet Gary: an affable angel played by Sammy J who has slowly climbed his way up the divine ladder to become the head of said department. And what a job that is — Gary must spend day after day sorting through box after box of thoughts and prayers. But don’t worry, the boxes are pretty light: the sentiments, after all, are fairly hollow.
“Yeah, I guess it’s easier to say something than to actually do something,” Gary says at one point in the short video. “That’s probably why they’re so popular.”
That said, Gary knows to be appreciative of his overwhelming workload. He’s been in Heaven long enough to realise that there are always much, much worse jobs that he could be doing.
“I’ve been flat out, but at least I’m not as busy as the boys next door,” Gary says. “They’re listening to the NRA pray people come to a reasonable compromise on gun control. That’s the Miracle Department.”
At the end of the day, Gary and his angel co-workers know that thoughts and prayers don’t do a goddamn thing, and that what the system needs is a total and drastic overhaul. But hey, every cloud has a silver lining, and there’s no point questioning your job when it’s as cushy as one in the Department of Thoughts and Prayers.
“If anything, I should be grateful for the lack of sensible gun laws in America,” Gary says. “I mean, if they had those, sure I’d probably still be alive. But I like being an angel too.”
Watch the whole clip below.