People Strip Down To Their Undies For New Dating Show ‘Undressed’; What Could Go Wrong?

SBS’ Undressed is a dating show with a difference; a unique experiment that promises to be intense, passionate, and unpredictable. Couples who have never met have half an hour to get to know each other, in their undies, on a bed, on national TV, in the pursuit of love. What could go wrong?

There have been some devastating moments on Australian television. Shannon Noll was robbed. Dee Bliss died (it was brutal at the time, okay?). Sarah Murdoch said the wrong name. The Q&A shoe missed John Howard’s head.

But now we can add another to the list: the tale of Johnny and Charlotte.

Charlotte is a 28-year-old restaurant manager from Melbourne. She says her friends would describe her as very caring, very weird, and opinionated. She says she’s particularly attracted to skinny fit guys, especially if they’re covered in tattoos.

And here comes Johnny. Johnny is all of those things, and probably more. Johnny is a 27-year-old process worker from Bendigo. He says he’s looking for someone adorable, and gorgeous – someone to have fun with, and spend the rest of his life with. Charlotte is at least the first three options, and undoubtedly the last one too.

The thing about devastating TV moments is that you don’t see them coming. They say their hellos and proceed to undress each other. The chemistry is immediate. They’re giggling, they’re laughing; you want to find out where they’re registered. It’s adorable. It’s gorgeous. They will spend the rest of their lives together.

Johnny talks about the difficulties he’s faced since childhood having been born with a hearing disability, and how people still make fun of him, whispering at him for laughs. He tells us to camera that he feels uncomfortable revealing such a big struggle to Charlotte. “Does it make it hard at work?” Charlotte asks. “Nah,” says Johnny, “’cause I just don’t listen to anybody.” Charlotte laughs loudly. The world is right again.

Charlotte reveals she’s experienced cruel bullying due to her weight when she was younger, and has suffered with depression and body image issues as a result. “I grew up as ‘the fat kid’,” she says. “I never fitted in anywhere … even my friends kind of, chose to be around me because I was the fat kid. Because I was like, I was the funny fat kid.”

“Do you know who they were that picked on you?” Johnny asks. “We’ll go hunt them down.” Charlotte laughs again. We all do.

They’re asked to explain what love means to them, and Johnny reveals that since his father’s death 22 years ago, his mother has not been with another man. “I’m thinking that that really defines exactly what love means to me,” Charlotte says to camera. “I just didn’t really know it. It really resonated with me.” THIS IS PERFECTION YOU GUYS.

“That’s the kind of love that I want,” says Johnny. Hearts across the nation melt. We live in interesting times, but we believe in love again. “That’s quite the competition,” says Charlotte.

But it becomes clear that the scrutiny of the situation has her feeling self conscious. As they give each other a massage (laughing, giggling, should I get them a gravy boat or a toaster) she points out how incredibly uncomfortable the whole thing is, and laughs, “I’d rather be having a beer and having a real conversation!”, before revealing to camera that she’s terrified. “If we have to kiss or something like that, I don’t know what I’ll do.” Ruh roh.

The imperative to kiss appears on the enormous screen before them, and they oblige, and despite Charlotte’s nerves it is a lovely kiss. Johnny cutely tells us he gives it a 9 out of 10. They hold each other close and laugh and giggle more. (Definitely a gravy boat.)

The time has come to make their decision, and we wait. Johnny’s decision comes on screen first. It’s a yes! There’s no point watching further, because we know Charlotte will also say yes and they will be happy and perfect forever and maybe instead of buying a gift I could just be their celebrant? But alas. Dee Bliss died, Shannon Noll was robbed. The Q&A shoe missed John Howard’s head. Charlotte chooses no.

Charlotte’s a kind soul. She meant no harm, it just wasn’t right for her. She tries to console Johnny with humour; laughing kindly, smiling gently. She tells him she sees him as the kind of person who would be a good friend. But Johnny just isn’t listening anymore.

When asked by Junkee how he’s holding up, it seems Charlotte may have actually done Johnny some good. “When she selected no, I was thinking, ‘Nobody says no to Johnny’. It was like a first, and it sucked to see myself go through it again on TV. I think we were matched from Charlotte’s interests and still I was everything she was looking for, [and] she still said no. [But since being on the show] I’ve been getting to know someone for longer than 30 minutes to get a ‘yes’ answer.”

FYI ladies, new humble Johnny is still single.

So, it wasn’t to be. Charlotte did what was true to her heart in an undoubtedly high-pressure situation, and we do applaud her for that. Really. We do. But even so, in that brief and sudden moment, the night skies of Australia did ring out with a single cry:

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For more episodes head to the ‘Undressed’ page on SBS on Demand.