Obnoxious Deputy Mayor’s Wedding Shuts Down Half Of Sydney, Peaks With Ridiculous Movie Trailer
One does not simply wed without shutting down half a city.
As you may already know if you were anywhere within Sydney’s inner west yesterday, Auburn’s deputy mayor Salim Mehajer got married.
Maybe you were stuck in the traffic that was caused by the roads he blocked, or saw the fireworks — or his convoy of 50 luxury cars, four helicopters and an actual plane towing a wedding message. Maybe you were one of the many residents asked to move their cars to a different street; maybe you’re the local police who intend to send the family a bill for the disruption.
Or maybe you were invited to the wedding and saw the high production pre-wedding movie trailer he commissioned. Either way, the most attention-grabby “wedding of the century” (HIS WORDS) that could quite possibly rival anything the Kardashians have ever done happened, and the thing the groom set out to do worked: EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS ABOUT IT.
Ironically he chose to go with a “hush” pose on the day.
But back to this whole pre-wedding trailer. A month before his big day, Mehajer hired an entire film crew to make a two-minute movie trailer telling the story of “a man who has it all” who gets his life “turned upside down”. After 15 hours of filming and a week of editing, Salim and Aysha’s “MUST WATCH” pre-wedding video presents brave new heights of flashy self-indulgence.
The narrator begins dramatically with “Sydney: a city where five million people live” to set the scene for the story and presumably put this couple’s special romance in perspective. Five million people? AND THEY FOUND EACH OTHER?! LOVE PREVAILS. FATE WINS. DESTINY ETC ETC.
HOW DID THEY FIND EACH OTHER IN THERE?
Panning over the city councilman’s mansion, Ferrari and somehow completely straight face, we are then taken back through time to where it all began: at Sydney University, where he was a student I guess?
HE HAS IT ALL, OKAY? EVERYTHING. EVEN A FERRARI.
EVEN A MANSION WITH HIS OWN PERSONAL LOGO ON THE DOOR HANDLE.
EVEN A COOL CAP THAT CAN BE WORN BACKWARDS.
The camera then zooms in on the “match made in heaven” he’s staring vacantly at and NOTHING WAS THE SAME AGAIN.
SHE HAS NO IDEA HE IS WATCHING HER.
Fast forward to when caps were no longer appropriate to wear backwards or at all and white is totally his colour, and we see a more mature Salim bump into a more mature Aysha and they share some sort of moment over picking up her text book.
[MONEY INTENSIFIES]
NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES.
We are told Salim will “do anything” for Aysha (see screenshot below), despite taking seven years — which were marked by “worry and uncertainty” and him being berated by his parents to get married — to propose.
Here he is – an actual government employee, holding and firing a gun for some reason.
And getting into his other, shinier Ferrari, also for unexplained reasons.
But it all worked out, you guys! They were determined to overcome whatever obstacles they apparently did face to be with each other.
SHE SAID YES.
You can watch the full fairytale here, if that is something you really actually truly want to do with your time.
What this video poses, though, is a much bigger question. Is this man really a deputy mayor? Is he maybe just a hairdresser with a richer, more powerful alter ego? A quick search on the internet clears it all up in the most boring way: Mehajer is also a property developer with a stack of properties in Auburn. So there you go.
Do you think he uses petroleum jelly on those chompers?
HE’S ONE OF THE BOYS. HE’S WEARING A HARD HAT.
EVERYONE KNOWS HARD HATS ARE THE SYMBOLS OF REALNESS.