Culture

Please Enjoy Michelle Obama Pummeling Harry Styles Right In The Dick With A Dodgeball

Perfection.

by Joseph Earp  19 June 2019
Harry Styles hit by Michelle Obama during a game of dodgeball

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Sometimes, out of the fog of the stressful and confusing modern world, the internet hands you a gift — a small slither of joy, quivering, waiting for you to take it into your heart. Today, that slither of joy is a video of former First Lady Michelle Obama hurling a dodgeball that hits ex-One Direction musician Harry Styles square in the penis.

I mean, surely that should be enough for you, but if you want some context, here it is. Last night, Mr. James “Carpool Karaoke” Corden, aired the UK edition of his Late Late Show, a talk show that he has hosted for four years. In it, Corden, a Brit who now lives Stateside, decided that it was finally time to settle the rivalry between his home country and his adopted country.

So, in a considerably less bloody re-staging of the American War of Independence, Corden drew up an elite team of Brits and Yanks to show off their skills in a competitive game of dodgeball.

Not, mind you, that the teams were exactly fairly composed. For the U.S. side, Corden enlisted Mila Kunis, Kate Hudson, Melissa McCarthy, Lena Waithe, Allison Janney and Obama herself, a badass assemblage of Oscar winners, comedy legends and incredibly accomplished former First Ladies.

Meanwhile, for the UK team, he clearly had to flip to the very back of his celebrity phonebook, sending out calls to John Bradley, AKA Sam from Game of Thrones, Benedict “Khan” Cumberbatch, Styles, and Montana-born comedian Reggie Watts for some reason.

So yeah. Shit’s unfair.

Anyway, the whole thing was gently amusing, full of nice quips and back-and-forth between the two teams. You can watch it in full here if you’re interested.

I say “if you’re interested”, because I began this article by telling you about Harry Styles getting punched in the cock by the wife of the one-time leader of the free world. So, if you’re anything like me, you will have been scanning down this article, only half reading, waiting for the place where I point you to that footage exactly, which is right here:

Beautiful.