The Newsroom’s Final Season Starts On Monday: Play Our Drinking Game
The show returns for its final season on Monday. Have a beer about it.
The third season of The Newsroom is due to hit Showcase in just over a week, and there are a lot of different feels going ’round.
Resilient fans of the show are elated; the yearlong wait is finally over.
The Aaron Sorkin faithful still nursing a love/hate relationship are feeling apprehensive; they’re half hoping the series will succeed and preserve the acclaimed screenwriter’s legacy, but they also kind of want it to tank so all their whinging will be validated.
Then there are the people who outright hate the thing. While they’re feeling a little miffed it’s back, they’re mostly happy. The promos for the new season have proudly stated these will be ‘THE FINAL EPISODES’.
Regardless of whether you’re celebrating, commiserating or just a bit bored, this season of The Newsroom will be best watched with a stiff drink in hand. For some reason Will and Mac are engaged despite getting little to no resolution of their actual issues. Out of nowhere, Don and Sloane are a thing. After pulling back from the bottleneck structure that was season two’s Genoa debacle, the team is breaking real news again with the Boston Marathon bombing. And we’ll no doubt be expected to forget Maggie’s whole Sinead O’Connor phase ever happened.

It should be said from the outset, I’m a fan of The Newsroom but I’m not an idiot. I enjoy the morality of the concept, but roll my eyes at the pompous speeches. I buy into the chemistry between Maggie and Jim, but think Will and Mac are a big overwrought mess. I enjoy the fast-paced dialogue, but Josh Lyman did it better.
Being a skeptical fan is tough, but this game should dull the pain. For optimum enjoyment we suggest using MacKenzie McAle. May cause poor decision-making in your personal life, and excessive fits of pretension. Drink responsibly.
–
Newsroom: The Drinking Game
–
Take a Small Sip With A Knowing Eyebrow Raised Like You’re Hiding a Juicy Secret When:
- You hear the words “moral imperative”, “mission to civilise” or “civic duty”.
- You get the intense urge to mock someone with a dismissive wanking motion.
- You spot a classic Sorkin walk and talk.
- Charlie Skinner makes a movement so strange and erratic you become certain he’s holed up in his office all day railing coke.
- Will’s jowl ripples from intense head shaking.
- Jim’s hair makes him look like a Lego man who’s had a rough night.
- Don gives off a creepy vibe that makes you think he definitely owns a hot tub.
- Mac’s eyes look ripe enough to bulge straight out of her head.

- You see a journalist with a Blackberry instead of a smartphone and wonder what year we’re in.
- Someone makes another joke about the black guy being called Gary Cooper.
- Someone’s drinking alone at the bar and staring listlessly into the middle distance.
- You hear someone talk about Lisa and you’re like ‘who the fuck is Lisa?’
- You kind of, nearly, sort of take Jane Fonda’s side of the argument because she looks fucking fabulous.
- Charlie’s adorable new bow tie completely steals the scene.
- Maggie and Jim maintain eye contact for an uncomfortably long time.
- Someone gets slapped around the head.
- They criticise a real-world politician.
- They criticise a real-world media organisation.
- Will spews fatal levels of sass at everyone.
–
Take A Huge Gulp Like Someone Has Just Found Out Your Juicy Secret When:
- Your friend winces and arrogantly mentions how The West Wing is just so much better.
- Neal says something about the internet and everyone goes silent because they’re highly trained journalists with no understanding of blogs or Twitter.
- Someone embarks on a secret journalist mission with codenames.
- One of those codenames is related to an animal. Early prediction: nighthawk.
- Jerry Dantana is on screen because fuck that guy right off.
- Will and Mac kiss and it makes you feel twisted and confused inside.
- A real-world journalist tweets about how they’re offended by the show.
- Someone says ‘Genoa’ with the same inflection and hushed tone as they would ‘Voldemort’.
- Same goes for the word ‘Africa’.
- A female character’s judgment and performance is seriously clouded by her emotions because WOMEN, am I right?
- Someone mentions Don Quixote.
- Someone mentions Don Quixote and inspirational music starts playing.
- Just drink for the rest of any episode that mentions Don Quixote. It’s all dismissive wanking motions from there on out.
- You hear any of these phrases:
–
Down That Shit Like You’re Charlie Skinner When:
- Don and Sloan reach the inevitable end of their 5-minute relationship.
- Maggie and Jim finally get together.
- Mac leaves Will at the altar because she’s secretly banging (the much more attractive) Brian again.
- You hear any of these words: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Rolling Stone, Osama, Iraq, Afghanistan, Obamacare, Nelson Mandela, George Zimmerman, Kim Jong-un, Syria, Pope Benedict, ISIS, ebola.
–
The Newsroom returns to Showcase at 7.30pm, Monday November 10.
–
Meg Watson is the weekend editor of Junkee, and arts and culture editor of Concrete Playground. She tweets from @msmegwatson.
