Film

I Rewatched Every James Bond Film Ever And Ranked Them. Fight About It.

Yes, this list includes SPECTRE, too.

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21. Moonraker (1979)

If you listen carefully you can almost hear the producers yelling “MAKE IT MORE LIKE STAR WARS!” Yes, this is the one that skirts dangerously close to courting legal action from George Lucas, and admittedly, has incredible replay value for laughs even if it’s lower-tier Bond.

It’s the first Roger Moore-era film to appear on this list and the most cringe-worthy of his tenure. It also features the infamous ‘pigeon double-take’ that’s often cited as one of the lowest points in the series. Bond has always been about escapism, but this film taught us the limit of our secret agent fantasy was space and pew-pew-pew laser guns.

For your consideration: The Pigeon Double-Take.

20. A View to A Kill (1985)

Moore’s last stand as a Bond, and what a way to finish… or not. He looks so tired and craggy in this one.

Moore is surrounded by a lot of boosters, mainly Grace Jones, who is delightfully mad as the hench-lady May Day who lifts grown men off the ground above her head and laughs manically like there’s no tomorrow. Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin flirts with classic Bond villain greatness, with a perfectly ‘80s plot to destroy Silicon Valley with the power of a blimp empire.

With so many great performers it’s a real shame that the film is as exhausted as Moore. Most people call it ‘The Duran Duran one’ because their theme outclassed the film as a huge hit, and is still the only Bond song to hit #1 on the American Billboard charts.

19. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Moore’s sophomore outing as Bond had him go head-to-head with Christopher Lee as the villain with the expensive gun, Francisco Scaramanga. What could go wrong? About three nipples’ worth, with a chaser of Tabasco sauce. For everything that was great about having Lee as the antagonist, it was consistently undercut by the absolutely ridiculous, and it would define the rest of Moore’s tenure.

18. Quantum of Solace (2008)

It’s hard to follow up a first outing as Bond. Like Moore, Daniel Craig found that out when he suited up for the second time in a film that’s an aggressive continuation of Casino Royale, but which still has Bond in reboot/origin mode (this went on to be origin trilogy once Skyfall arrived). After all the promise of Casino Royale, it was tough slogging through a film where Bond wasn’t really Bond yet, due to a broken heart.

To be fair, the production was plagued by the writers’ strike of 2007/08 and it’s rumoured that portions of the film were written by Craig and director Marc Forster on the fly. Forster even went as to give each action sequence an elemental theme of: earth, water, air and fire. Yep, he made Bond like Captain Planet but with no heart.

QuantumofSolace

That guy fake-sweeping is as exciting as it gets.

17. Octopussy (1983)

You’re probably thinking this ranking is way too high for this film, which is often cited as one of the worst — but stay with me. No matter how crazy the Moore era gets, there’s something special about how Octopussy fully embraces the kooky elements of Bond as it confidently transitions from the ‘70s to the ‘80s with no idea what to do with the series.

Sure, there are better Moore era Bond films, and this film has way too many clowns, but Octopussy is like a ‘best of’ for Moore. It’s one of the most entertaining Bond flicks, with a high replay value.

Octopussy

Squad goals.

16. Dr No (1962)

This is the Plymouth Rock of Bond films, and was highly influential in starting a wave of new action/spy movies (and spoofs not long after). What’s surprising is how little action there is in Bond’s first outing, with the character spending most of the time walking through airports to Monty Norman’s iconic ‘James Bond Theme’, but the idea of international travel and going on an airplane was just as exciting to conservative audiences of 1962 as the explosive boat escape finale.

Bond begins as a male escapist fantasy, highlighted in one of the iconic scenes where Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) emerges from the ocean and the ‘Bond girl’ is born. Many staples of the series are there from film one: the gun barrel opener, the flirtatious Miss Moneypenny and the stylised opening credits. The strongest foot Dr No puts forward is Connery, who blazed through cinemas as quickly as he lights his cigarette and introduces himself as “Bond, James Bond”.

15. Diamonds are Forever (1971)

Bond goes to America, Shirley Bassey sings another unforgettable theme, and we say goodbye to Connery’s hairpiece (he started losing it after Dr No). Diamonds are Forever also features the assassin couple, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd, who creatively kill members of an elaborate diamond smuggling ring.

Sure, the moon buggy chase is insane, but there’s something about seeing Bond tear it up in the United States that’s oddly entertaining. It also revealed that the moon landings were faked, so there you go.

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