Government Whip Scott Buchholz Seems Very Confused About How Women Breastfeed, Most Things
He is as confused as he looks.
It’s not easy to fly under the radar in politics, but, until now, chief government whip Scott Buchholz had managed to do just that. After graduating from Deputy Whip to Chief Whip when Phillip Ruddock was dumped from the position back in February, Buchholz was still a relatively unexplored public figure. He was just an ordinary conservative guy, doing ordinary conservative things; the people saw no reason to shine their spotlight there.
Until Monday night, when he goofed the leadership ballot timing and was lost to the internet’s schadenfreude mob forever.
One job. pic.twitter.com/BDb8QAqUtu
— Matt Burke (@matttburke) September 14, 2015
Prediction: Scott Buchholz accidentally announces himself as PM and it becomes a treasured sitcom.
— Matt Burke (@matttburke) September 14, 2015
Good on Scott Buchholz for having a go
— Ben Pobjie (@benpobjie) September 16, 2015
Tonight we are all Scott Buchholz. #libspill #signingoff
— Ben Birchall (@benbirchall) September 14, 2015
Or, if you don’t keep one eye firmly on Twitter like a normal person, you may have seen this perpetually bamboozled face announce the leadership winner on national television like a confused, adorable newborn baby.
The poor guy was so stupefied he had to read the results straight from his palm cards.
WHAT
AM I DOING
HERE
It took just one slip, one little gaffe, and now everyone wants a piece of this nonplussed stooge.
Today, for instance, Fairfax reported that Buchholz wasn’t aware of a standard parliamentary order which allows breastfeeding ministers a proxy vote so they don’t have to take their kid into Parliament — so ignorant of this rule, he was, that he went and told Liberal MP and recent mum Kelly O’Dwyer to somehow get all her baby’s milk ready in advance to avoid any interference in the chamber. It was only after the hapless chump consulted his Labor counterpart, Chris Hayes, that he learnt of the policy.
Buchholz, my friend, it’s all downhill from here.
Let's not forget Scott Buchholz announced #libspill would be decided by a vote of the joint party room. #youhadonejob
— Stephanie Peatling (@srpeatling) September 16, 2015
Incase you're wondering, it's Scott Buchholz. Not Buttholes. Frankly you were childish for ever having made the mistake. Shame! #libspill
— Tegan Higginbotham (@TeganMH) September 14, 2015
It’s unclear how Buchholz rose to his position of power, but it’s starting to look like he stumbled across the Liberal Party room by accident one day and got caught up in an awkward situation he couldn’t get out of. Whatever those strange and arbitrary moments leading up to his full-time employment were, we’re definitely starting to find out more about the man behind the interminably flummoxed face.
According to Sydney Morning Herald, he’s the guy “who calls people ‘rocket’ and ‘champ’ and wanted to be the Pope when he was younger”. And this photo of him posing for Warwick Daily News with two whips over his shoulder is surely one step closer to knowing more about the party room manager who doesn’t seem to know what’s going on at any given time.
Government whip, pictured with whip. Photo: Warwick Daily News.
Keep that chin up, mate. Won’t be long ’til we move back onto Dutton — promise.