It’s easier said than done when someone tells us to “just be straight forward” in telling a guy or girl that we’re not longer interested in them. What if they’re just too sweet? Or sort of cocky, but you know they’re really into you?

People deserve the truth, but sometimes telling the truth is just as hard as receiving it. You’re at a crossroads, but at the end of the day, breaking things off is the best decision.

Here’s the lowdown on gently letting someone know that it’s not them, it’s you.

Invite A Friend To The Next Catch Up

It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book, but it does work like a charm. Inviting a friend or bunch of friends to your next outing is a little rough but it’s still OK. It’s OK because it’s not like you didn’t show up, but you’re eliminating the romantic element of the meet-up. In this group situation, you can freely behave more like a friend to them in a safe environment and hint that this is something you prefer.

Tell Them Your Plans For The Future

We all have dreams to travel, or even live overseas one day. Let them know that you’re thinking about doing a lot of things for yourself in the near future, and the timing just isn’t right for you both. Talking about the future gently excludes them from your future plans and basically hints that you don’t see a future with them.

Besides, they’d probably super happy that you’re following your dreams.

Tell Them You’re Absolutely Swamped

 

In other words, make yourself busy. It’s close to “ghosting” – which sucks – but if they’re not taking the hint, there’s no harm in saying that you have a packed calendar.

If this isn’t working, then it’s clear you have one thing left to try which you have always dreaded — tell them the friggin’ truth!

Or, Just Be Straight Forward

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t need to come up with a bunch of silly excuses and plans to let someone know you’re not keen. A simple “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way” should suffice. 95 per cent of the time, the person won’t come back and ask questions. They’ll understand.

Good luck! And remember, you’ll be in their shoes one day. So be kind.