Doritos-Flavoured Mountain Dew is a Thing That Now Exists In the World
"It taste like liquid cheese."
Earlier this week, a very reliable Redditor named joes_nippples posted a photo of a promo stand full of something called ‘Dewitos’. Though the liquid filling all the tasting cups could at first be mistaken for Fanta — a lurid neon mess roughly the same colour as filthy Maccas cheese — a big Mountain Dew logo emblazoned on the stall proudly took ownership of the drink. And, after a moment spent decoding the company’s stunningly poetic play on words, it became clear the drink was a hybrid mix of this classic sugar-fuelled soft drink and the processed cheese masterpiece that is Doritos.
Because Reddit users haven’t exactly won any Pulitzers lately, people were naturally suspicious. I mean, the existence of such a monstrosity would surely have incited some kind of riot; at the very least a peaceful boycott that would have made the local news. But before anyone could figure out the veracity of the photo, Reddit got into a big fight over what kind of fruits make orange juice and forgot the point completely. “I juiced like a dozen mangoes to make mango gelato and it is orange as fuck,” said someone called Gormster. Sweetlikecandy then said Gormster was “fucking rekt” and people started yelling about carrots.
Since then, the reports have been confirmed. The godless drink has been spotted at a number of US universities, and a representative from Pepsi has told TIME the drink is currently being tested for production.
“We are always testing out new flavours of Mountain Dew, and giving our fans a voice in helping decide on the next new product has always been important to us,” said a Pepsi representative.
“It honestly wasn’t that disgusting,” said discerning trend setter joes_nipples. “It tasted like orange with a Doritos aftertaste. It tasted like straight Doritos afterwards though. Weirdest thing I’ve ever drunken [sic].”
Other reports say “it taste like liquid cheese [sic]”.
This isn’t the first time Mountain Dew have unnecessarily broadened their horizons either. In Japan, they injected their putrid radioactive tang into Cheetos to create a repulsive carbonated snack food to clog your arteries and haunt your dreams. More than that, the misguided heathens of Pinterest have been willingly stockpiling recipes for Mountain Dew and Doritos flavoured cupcakes for months now.
Maybe we’re the odd ones out. Is this a thing people actually want? It seems like a strange move to come out of a country that’s recently started introducing soda taxes to keep its population healthier. At the very least, I suppose there’s always one demographic they can count on.
Doritos flavored Mt Dew? Whaaaaat pic.twitter.com/lQHzJXhQjm
— hawkaholic05 (@hawkaholic05) November 7, 2014
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Image via Reddit.