CNN Is Pretty Convinced That ISIS Is Recruiting Western Women With Kittens, Nutella and Emojis

Remember that time some of our nation’s biggest newspapers published pictures of a random Muslim guy and called him a terrorist? Or when Jacqui Lambie expressed her serious concern about the ebola-infected suicide bombers that were waging war on us all?

Sometimes — in the past year or so especially — it feels as though Australia is a singular breed of crazy when it comes to these kind of matters and their bearings on national security. But, in the face of monumental uncertainty and embarrassment, it’s important to see ourselves from a larger global perspective: it’s okay, we’re not that bad. America still exists.

This morning, CNN — no, it wasn’t even Fox — hosted a segment that told the nation of approximately 318 million people that ISIS is recruiting young Western women via social media with the help of Nutella, kittens and emojis. This wasn’t a frivolous morning show topic or a fleeting point of discussion. This was the news.

“They actually eat Nutella and I guess they have pet kittens,” said reporter Carol Costello, just moments before hearing of her nomination for the Pulitzer Prize.

First things first: recruitment to ISIS is a thing that’s happening. There are a number of troubling stories from both Australia and the US that indicate people are making the trip to fight with the militant group in Syria or Iraq and not coming back alive.

Additionally, the social media presence of ISIS and its supporters has been well-documented. They really have posted images of cats. I’m sure emojis have made it into a few tweets. Who wouldn’t want to talk about Nutella? It’s the best.

But the assumption that these things are the reason that women would want to leave their family and friends on the other side of the world in the hope that she will marry a jihadist who will ply them with kittens in the midst of a war zone is a bit of a stretch.

As Vox note, we’re all just humans with various beliefs and convictions: “Female recruits have complex political and religious reasons for joining ISIS. They are not ending up in Syria after embarking on a misguided Sisterhood-of-the-Traveling-Niqab-style lark.” Experts in political radicalisation have even noted it could be part of a kind of “adventure narrative” for those who have idealised conceptions of the group or the area.

Regardless, all you ladies should log off the internet until we’ve successfully deleted all the cats and emojis. Instead you can sit at home and get your thrills by eating Nutella straight out the jar with a spoon like the rest of us.

i wasn't gonna join isis but then they tweeted a picture of a kitten and i changed my mind, cuz i'm a lady http://t.co/2K1tk22GFf

— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) February 18, 2015

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Feature image via Max Fisher/Twitter.