Brooke Candy Will Not Poop On You For Five Whole Days, Okay?
New York Magazine interviewed the rapping, stripping, sexing sensation that is Brooke Candy. She said some pretty great stuff.
Vulture have published an hilarious interview with stripper-cum-YouTube sensation Brooke Candy, which will be in the March 25 issue of New York Magazine. For those who managed to miss it, Candy is the latest in a long, salacious line of ‘bad bitch’-style viral sensations: she got her start as a co-star in the clip for Grimes’ ‘Genesis’, but now has her own songs that do incredibly well.
Like this one, which was released last week and is very much NSFW:
The piece, by Christopher Glazek, is pretty short by NYMag standards, but it’s completely crammed with zingers. Here are some of them.
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Brooke Candy smokes weed in interviews:
“‘Das Me’ is really offensive,” she says between bowl hits, summarizing the consensus about her first single, released last October. “But it’s funny.”
Brooke Candy sleeps with both men and women, but prefers women:
“Every straight man I’ve ever met is filthy as a damn pig.”
Brooke Candy’s father is the former CFO of Hustler, and the current president of Hustler Casino:
“My parents have seen everything. They’ve seen me stripping, they’ve seen my nude pics, and yes, they hate me. They don’t understand what I do… My dad won’t agree with what I do until I make more money than him.”
Brooke Candy was a stripper for eight months, and that makes her better than Azealia:
“Azealia Banks stripped for three weeks, then she quit.”
When Brooke Candy was stripping, she’d take home upwards of $1500 a night:
“It’s tiring, though. I don’t even like men, and I have to pretend that I’m loving every fucking stupid piece of shit there.”
Besides, Brooke Candy can make more as a pop star:
“I can get $3,000 for a fifteen-minute set. It’s really fucking sick.”
Brooke Candy interned for stylist and reality star Rachel Zoe (The Rachel Zoe Project). She didn’t like her very much:
“I gave her a ride home one time, and she was talking to me about all this stupid bullshit. She’s so ditzy. I don’t know how she’s so successful with her empire. Her QVC line is really ugly.”
Brooke Candy only wants to poop on you for one day, not five:
“Hamburg is weird. Every single person is white. And everyone is really kooky, like partying for five days in a row in a sex-dungeon club where you poop on each other—which is chill. But for five days? I can’t poop on you for five days. I can do one.”