The 30 Most-Played Songs On Australian Commercial Radio, Reviewed In Under 70 Words
It's 2016 and 'Seinfeld' is still on every night, and 'Good Riddance' is still played on the radio every day.
14. ‘Take On Me’ – a-Ha
If you can nail the high vocal in this chorus, you are a genius. Also this band named their farewell tour, ‘Ending On A High Note’, which is obviously the best thing that a Norwegian pop group will ever do.
13. ‘Good Riddance’ – Green Day
It’s pretty great that in 2016, Seinfeld is still on every night, and this song is still played on radio every day. After this came out, every bratty SoCal punk band did their own ‘Time Of Your Life’ (which is the actual title, let’s be real), with mixed results. See: ‘Adam’s Song’ – Blink-182; ‘Cailin’ – Unwritten Law.
12. ‘I Will Wait’ – Mumford & Sons
Remember when Mumford and Sons abandoned their banjos and upright bass for a rocking electric sound on their third album and everyone was all, “but that’s the entire point of you guys”? I bet the fourth album will see them back to the banjoes.
11. ‘Sweet Dreams’ – Eurythmics
Pretty sure a random lyrics generator and a Casio keyboard co-wrote this. Speaking of lab creations, Marilyn Manson once covered this.
10. ‘The Horses’ – Darryl Braithwaite
The fact that Braithwaite thinks he and his lover will ride horses “way up in the sky” shows a profound lack of training in equine physiology, not to mention very little empathy regarding the possible dangers.
9. ‘Billie Jean’ – Michael Jackson
Billie Jean said the kid is Michael’s, he denies it. Meanwhile Toto has stayed suspiciously quiet on the matter. Also, Quincy Jones didn’t want this song on Thriller because he thought people would think it was about tennis legend Billie Jean King, which is the craziest logic for any decision, ever.
8. ‘Summer of 69’ – Bryan Adams
I went to university with someone who thought the first line of this was, “I got my first real sex dream.” It is called ‘Summer of 69’, so I suppose he is forgiven.
7. ‘Tainted Love’ – Soft Cell
A little-known fact about this song is that it comes from an album called ‘Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret.’ Why isn’t there a club night named that? Also, I only just got that ‘Soft Cell’ is a pun, and quite a good one, too.
6. ‘Every Breath You Take’ – The Police
Which Gotye album is this one from? I can never seem to find it on Spotify. A popular song at weddings where the groom started off as the bride’s stalker.
5. ‘Down Under’ – Men At Work
To date, this is the only song to hit #1 in America with the words “chunder”, “Vegemite” and “Kombi”, while attempting to pass off “nervous” and “breakfast” as a legitimate rhyme.
4. ‘Sex on Fire’ – Kings of Leon
This song is so Australian FM radio it should be packaged with a Fitzy esky and a six-pack of Tooheys Gold. Also, three brothers and a cousin from the Deep South singing about how “this sex is on fire” tosses up many, many questions.
3. ‘Somebody That I Used to Know’ – Gotye & Kimbra
Which Sting album is this one from? I can never seem to find it on Spotify. The video clip features Kimbra the Lion, in a shallow attempt to cash in on the cartoon rapper fad started by Paula Abdul and Skat Kat.
2. ‘Dancing In The Dark’ – Bruce Springsteen
Written by Courtney Cox (not fact-checked), this song was banned for years after a spate of serious knee/coffee-table collisions due to the chorus being taken literally.
1. ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ – Simple Minds
One of a few songs you can make a legitimate claim to “absolutely love” while only knowing the words in the title, and the “hey, hey, hey” part. It’s about a feeling, and maybe about the most important school detention in history?
Nathan Jolly is a writer from Sydney and former editor of The Music Network. He tweets from @NathanJolly.